10 Things You Need to Know About Paris

A friend of mine is coming to Paris to study abroad for a month this summer. I've been trying to figure out what advice to give him, and in doing so, I realized I wouldn't be sharing advice. I would be sharing the things I've learned about Paris, the things you can't exactly find in a normal guidebook, but should nevertheless be included.

1. Crêpes are the best judge of location.
No, seriously. You can judge where you are in the city by the price of a crêpe avec le sucre from a    street stand or a restaurant to-go style stand.

• 2 Euros: any normal part of Paris (shops, cafés, actual Parisians)
• 2,50 and up Euros: Touristy area. Someone will probably try to either pickpocket you or sell you a    million mini versions of the eiffel tower. Find somewhere else to eat. 
• <2 Euros: You're probably by the suburbs, in a very sketchy neighborhood. You might want to leave.

2. Coffee is always worth the money, a baguette sandwich never is.

They know their caffeine here. They won't give you much, but it will be good, it will be in an adorable cup, and they'll give you enough sugar to make you wonder how the Parisians aren't fat. But either way, Paris is a city you need to be awake for. 

The baguette sandwiches, on the other hand, are always overpriced, and they barely put anything in them. You end up basically eating a sliced open baguette, and I can never tell if people are eating a chunk of bread or a sandwich. Go to a bakery and get a quiche, a tarte, or just buy a baguette and use it to try out the fromageries, charcuteries, italian traiteurs, or offerings at the market. 

3. Some stereotypes are true

Yes, in Paris they really do walk around with their daily baguette under their arm. They put cheese and cream in everything. Florist shops are everywhere, because several times a week you will see a man carrying flowers to give his girlfriend. Those idyllic parisian cafés, brasseries, and bistros don't just exist, they can be found on every other street corner, and yes they are adorable. And finally, they really do wander around playing accordions, usually on the metro. Oh, and yes, the Parisians DO dress better than you. And I don't admit that very often.

Even the boys dress better. Take notes, gents...

4. Parisians really do snack, they just like to lie about it.

You know how they say French women don't get fat, because they are good at portion control and don't eat between meals? I'm going to have to embarrass them by telling you that they snack almost worse than Americans. Most people on the metro are snacking. Some on 'biscuits' (cookies, usually with a LOT of chocolate, and merit an entire aisle in most grocery stores), which they then stuff back into their box and back into their bag. Some start ripping off pieces of a baguette, then flipping it around in the bag to hide the broken end. And a large number eat chocolate from the 'selectas' (vending machines) in the metro stations, stuffing it in their mouths before stashing the wrapper somewhere undetectable. So even if you don't see it, trust me, they are snacking. 

5. It's not a fantasy land. It's a big city

Paris is usually presented as 'the city of light', though this refers not to the philosophical movement but to Paris as a glowing city of wonders. Which it is, but you also need to remember it's a big city, too. The metros smell like urine, sometimes there is trash on the streets, it has a tendency to rain as much as London in the spring, and you will probably have a drunk homeless man come at you at some point. This sounds like a downer, but it isn't; be prepared that it isn't a fantasy, and you'll love the huge number of beautiful things and stop really seeing the rest. 

6. Normal rules don't apply.

PDAs: If I laugh too loudly on the metro, I will get glares from about half the car. But the couple being more intimate than many PG-13 movies allow won't even get a second glance.

Drinking: A friend of mine tried to explain to a class the phrase 'it's 5 o'clock somewhere' and they simply didn't get it. In France, they take wine with their lunch and it is completely legal to drink in the streets. I'm pretty sure that the 'somewhere' in the phrase refers to France, because it seems to be 5 o'clock all the time. 

And finally, for some reason, even sex shops have opening parties with food and champaign. I passed this walking home from school, and still can't quite wrap my head around it.

7. You will literally never see all of the museums.

Apparently, it would take 100 days to see everything in the Louvre. And that is just one museum. Sure, you have the big players, such as Musée d'Orsay and the Centre Pompidou. But these are just the ones you know about. With my classes, I have been to 4 museums I've never heard of, people at my center have mentioned at least 4 I haven't had a chance to visit, I've seen ads for another handful, and my 'to-do' list of museums includes another 6 or so, just off the top of my head. The only solution is to visit Paris again...

 

8. Pay attention to details, and bring a camera.

The Parisians are known for their attention to detail. Walk into any bakery, even the smallest, saddest one, and you will see works of art in the form of food. With the occasional exception, every non-fast-food restaurant is impeccably decorated, and drop dead gorgeous. And don't get me started on the gardens... So at the risk of being a tourist, take your camera literally everywhere. There is always something that will surprise you, and you really do need to expect the unexpected. 

I mean, this really is too pretty to eat:

9. People make the place.

I had a conversation with a friend about how you can be in the most amazing place on earth and if you aren't with people you enjoy and care about, it almost means nothing. And the worst place can be made better by having great people. Make friends, share things with them, and be open to people. You'll make friends you can't believe you survived without, hear crazy stories from strangers on the metro, and get an extra pastry in the boulangerie for being friendly.

I still wish I asked this guy how he ended up doing this:

10. YOU ARE IN PARIS. If you haven't passed an arch, obelisk, fountain, church, or manicured garden, something is wrong. Enjoy it.

There are a million other things, too, but some things you will just have to find out on your own. And don't forget to write them down--a random restaurant, bar, street, whatever. If you like it, you'll want to come back, or you'll want to pass it on to the next person who gets to enjoy this crazy city.